On the QT Newsletter, 5 R’s of an Apology
Attachment: 5 R’s Activity
March 30, 2010
Did you know? People who can’t apologize at work may as well be wearing a T-shirt that says, “I don’t care about you,” contends Malcolm Gladwell. Unless students are prepared to change jobs on a regular basis and replace their friends every few years, learning how to apologize is an essential skill. While an apology is simply an expression of regret at having caused trouble for someone and a promise not to do it again, delivering an effective apology is not easy. Because everyone makes mistakes, learning how and why to apologize with sincerity and clarity is vital to developing and maintaining positive relationships both in and out of the workplace. Effective apologies allow people to move forward, restore broken relationships, and build pathways for personal growth. Today’s activity will introduce your students to the “5 R” formula for a confident apology as they learn to say, “I’m sorry.”
Try this:
Write this Elton John quote on the board: “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.”
Ask some questions:
Do you agree or disagree with Elton John? Why?
Why do you think it is difficult to apologize?
Do you believe apologies are valuable? Why? Why not?
Distribute 5 R’s activity and review instructions.
View this 3-minute video clip from John Kador, author of Effective Apology … Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust.
Review Kador’s information.
Discuss student responses in small groups or as a class
How does Kador define apology? (Willingness to value the relationship more than the need to be right.)
Why do we hold back on making apologies? (Don’t know how or when to do it … apologies are difficult.)
How has the perception of apology shifted in the last 10 years? (Used to see apology as defeat, weakness, vulnerable…now as character, confidence, integrity)
Have students identify what they learned and how they will apply it in their lives.
Add an Experience: Have students test their apology quotient, review their scores, and be prepared to discuss what they learned from the quiz. In addition, call on students to apply the 5 R’s in a real situation. They may choose to watch and rate the Tiger Wood’s Apology, analyze what Toyota had to say in its defense, or reflect on a personal apology they have delivered or received. Have them briefly define the situation, what happened, and then use the 5 R’s to rate the effectiveness of the apology.
Quik Quote: Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word.
Sir Elton John, British Songwriter